Raising a Girl

I found out I was going to be the mother of a girl on the day of her birth in the summer of 2009.  Chris delivered the news to me while I lay on the operating table.  I was already queasy from being awake during surgery, but this news brought more uneasiness.  Girls are complicated, dramatic, and sensitive.  How on earth was I going to raise a daughter having not yet mastered the girly skills myself? 

As you can expect, I fell in love with my daughter immediately.  She was perfect and I was so excited to be her mom.  I loved cuddling her and dressing her in cute outfits.  We’d go for walks in the neighborhood and everyone would smile at us.  She was a happy girl and seemed to embrace life as a very young child. 

Now, at the age of four, I am still excited to be her mom.  She is brilliant, mischievous, curious, and beautiful.  Also at the age of four, her mental capacity is exploding.  What I wouldn’t give to see how her mind works!  She puzzles things out, like easy words.  She seems to understand death now, though she didn’t earlier this year when she attended her first funeral.  She is also becoming receptive to social influences.  She’s picking up a lot of behaviors from her peers, both good, bad, and ridiculous.  “G, why did you wear your winter coat and hat all day at Pre-K?”  “Because Jojo did.”  Sure.  That makes sense. 

My daughter is fast-approaching an age when it’s hard to be a girl.  I know.  I’ve lived it.  And it’s not pretty.  Right now, she’ll wrap herself in blankets and say she’s a princess.  She’ll beam because in her own eyes, she’s gorgeous.  Not too far from now, though, doubt will creep in.  Her confidence will wane as she spends even more time with her peers.  The thought of this causes me grief.  

I wish my daughter could keep the confidence of early youth always.  I hope she always knows that she’s smart and beautiful, caring and fun.  The best way I know to teach her confidence is to model it.  It’s not always genuine for me, but I’m sure trying. 

I would love to hear your ideas of how to teach or inspire confidence.